When I was young we had a black and white telly, now I do not mean one that was colour coded to fit in with the sitting room décor, I mean it was an old black and white, a telly that made watching snooker exciting, a telly that made all landscapes look like home, aye the good old days!
Now because I am not that old we only had this telly for a couple of years before we were up graded to colour, a revolution in telly watching and the pride of the house, because having a colour telly not only meant watching the snooker was now at a different level but the family had moved out of the poor working class bracket to the middle working class, A huge social step!!
The fact that there were only two channels did not matter as they were both in colour, people looked like people and landscapes were...well landscapes but ones we had never seen before.
The household watched new programmes, some scary others funny but all original!!!
Flash forward one or two years and have a look at where we are, several hundred channels all in colour some in 3D, tellies that are designed to match your décor and not only that the average screen size is three times what we used to watch!
Aye progress is wonderful, we have huge colour tellies, designed to fit any room and over two hundred channels full of new interesting programmes to choose from.
Sadly yes and no, yes we have the big tellies that can tell you what you like to watch, yes you can buy them in any shape or form and colour you like to suit your décor but that is where the good news and all the progress ends!!!
The programmes are the same bloody ones I was watching on the black and white telly all those years ago....aye and the snooker is still boring!!
Okay the programmes are not the same but am I the only one that has noticed that the two hundred channels are full of repeats, and not just repeats that are a few years old, repeats that are weeks old!!
The same films appear over ten different channels over the week just to make sure you have seen it at least twice.
If a programme is classed as original you can be sure it is another reality, spy camera documentary about either a very rich or a very dysfunctional family with more problems than Jeremy Kyle can solve!!!
If somebody does make a programme that is worth watching once, you can be sure it will be flogged to death by repeats over every channel that makes nothing new.
Every channel not only shows repeats but in-between those repeats are endless adverts for all we need and desire to make our lives complete. The result of the adverts is that what is supposed to be an hour long show full of original content is now only thirty five minutes long...aye yet another rip off!
The whole reality show circus makes you wonder if we have really become a nation of telly zombies that are afraid to watch a programme with either a plot or one that dare I say it provokes thoughts and debate.
So this weekend when the repeats are repeats of the repeats, why not turn the telly off turn to your partner and strike up a conversation, invite friends around, play games with the kids and there is one thing you will be guaranteed, it will be original and who knows you might even be entertained!
Monday, 10 June 2013
Wednesday, 5 June 2013
Weekend Road Bandits
So here it was, at last, for the first time since....well it is that bloody long ago I cant actually remember when.... the last time it was a perfect weekend! You know, sunshine, a trip away planned and a baby sitter, aye my god was smiling on me!
So Saturday arrived in a blaze of glorious sunshine, I packed my overnight bag...okay my Tesco bag for life...and donned my sun glasses, last minute checks done, wallet in pocket, credit card in sock and breakfast in a bag ala a fast food chain it was time to hit the road, destination the exotic West Coast town of Fort William and a night out with some old friends.
So there we were, good music, excellent driving conditions and a munch as my front seat companion, life was just peachy!
Sadly the elation and excitement lasted as long as the local by-pass and the queues of traffic stretched as far as the eyes with the aid of powerful binoculars could see!! What was causing this almighty jam, a jam that by this point had added an extra hour to an already long journey time. An accident, road works or some other sad unforeseeable emergency, that would mean any cross words would not be merited!
No none of the above, it was simply everyone who owned a caravan, a push bike or any other vehicle you would like to see banded from the road had the same idea for the weekend, all going to the same bloody destination!!!
Now firstly let me set the record straight, I like Fort William, but only because that is the town that I grew up in and only because I have friends and family that still live there. However if you were to choose a fantastic weekend break, a treat for you and your family, a place that has loads to do with great eating places, excellent evening entertainment and is reasonably priced, then you would simply not go there!!!!
Fort William has more shops shut than open on a high street that requires demolition rather than decoration, you have taxis that are ready to rip the tenner out your wallet for a few miles of nerve shredding as the driver answers the phone and writes down the hires that are flooding in, he then organises other cars using his radio-yep an office on wheels with a waiting area for current customers to pray that they see the destination of their choice!!
Taxi journey survived, a stiff drink required, so into one of the local pubs, made the mistake of asking for our drinks in tall glasses, aye you guessed it they charge extra for that service, so another tenner prized from the wallet!!!
So back to the original point why would all these people be on the same road as me heading to the same destination? I have no answer and ask 90% of the locals and they to would have to scratch their head and wonder why anyone would make Fort William their perfect destination!! However those locals scratching their heads give me the only possible answer there is to the question- they themselves are different class, its only a shame that the towns fathers cant get the planning and the development of their town right, then they would have it all!
That decided then it leaves only the second point to resolve, aye bloody caravans and push bikes on our busy inadequate roads, roads that have more tour buses and lorries per mile than the M6!!!!!
I can only pray that one day a government is elected that will tax these road bandits in the same way that cars, buses and lorries aye the legitimate users are taxed!! Why should a bike or a caravan be allowed to cause misery to the vast majority of road users, why should we have to trudge along at 10 miles per hour in queues of 100 plus waiting on a safe place to pass them, and I can tell you when I say safe place I really mean slightly less dangerous!!
If we don't tax them then we should at least restrict them to certain user hours, hours that we the tax paying customer decide on, like say 0400 to 0700 sounds fair to me after all they are not paying to use the facilities, can you imagine the up roar if people just walked into the local swimming pool, threw in some tyre tubes and started to splash about without paying- try it and see what happens, however have your lawyer on speed dial!
Sadly there is no answer to the road bandits at the moment, leaving us the tax paying road user to suffer- so come on Government do something useful for a change and raise some money that could be used to fix the roads, tax the bandits that are freely strangling road traffic flow and smiling about it!!!
Me I will be back in rip off Fort William only because of the people, but when I go I will be travelling between 0400 and 0700, music on and a clear road!!!!!
So Saturday arrived in a blaze of glorious sunshine, I packed my overnight bag...okay my Tesco bag for life...and donned my sun glasses, last minute checks done, wallet in pocket, credit card in sock and breakfast in a bag ala a fast food chain it was time to hit the road, destination the exotic West Coast town of Fort William and a night out with some old friends.
So there we were, good music, excellent driving conditions and a munch as my front seat companion, life was just peachy!
Sadly the elation and excitement lasted as long as the local by-pass and the queues of traffic stretched as far as the eyes with the aid of powerful binoculars could see!! What was causing this almighty jam, a jam that by this point had added an extra hour to an already long journey time. An accident, road works or some other sad unforeseeable emergency, that would mean any cross words would not be merited!
No none of the above, it was simply everyone who owned a caravan, a push bike or any other vehicle you would like to see banded from the road had the same idea for the weekend, all going to the same bloody destination!!!
Now firstly let me set the record straight, I like Fort William, but only because that is the town that I grew up in and only because I have friends and family that still live there. However if you were to choose a fantastic weekend break, a treat for you and your family, a place that has loads to do with great eating places, excellent evening entertainment and is reasonably priced, then you would simply not go there!!!!
Fort William has more shops shut than open on a high street that requires demolition rather than decoration, you have taxis that are ready to rip the tenner out your wallet for a few miles of nerve shredding as the driver answers the phone and writes down the hires that are flooding in, he then organises other cars using his radio-yep an office on wheels with a waiting area for current customers to pray that they see the destination of their choice!!
Taxi journey survived, a stiff drink required, so into one of the local pubs, made the mistake of asking for our drinks in tall glasses, aye you guessed it they charge extra for that service, so another tenner prized from the wallet!!!
So back to the original point why would all these people be on the same road as me heading to the same destination? I have no answer and ask 90% of the locals and they to would have to scratch their head and wonder why anyone would make Fort William their perfect destination!! However those locals scratching their heads give me the only possible answer there is to the question- they themselves are different class, its only a shame that the towns fathers cant get the planning and the development of their town right, then they would have it all!
That decided then it leaves only the second point to resolve, aye bloody caravans and push bikes on our busy inadequate roads, roads that have more tour buses and lorries per mile than the M6!!!!!
I can only pray that one day a government is elected that will tax these road bandits in the same way that cars, buses and lorries aye the legitimate users are taxed!! Why should a bike or a caravan be allowed to cause misery to the vast majority of road users, why should we have to trudge along at 10 miles per hour in queues of 100 plus waiting on a safe place to pass them, and I can tell you when I say safe place I really mean slightly less dangerous!!
If we don't tax them then we should at least restrict them to certain user hours, hours that we the tax paying customer decide on, like say 0400 to 0700 sounds fair to me after all they are not paying to use the facilities, can you imagine the up roar if people just walked into the local swimming pool, threw in some tyre tubes and started to splash about without paying- try it and see what happens, however have your lawyer on speed dial!
Sadly there is no answer to the road bandits at the moment, leaving us the tax paying road user to suffer- so come on Government do something useful for a change and raise some money that could be used to fix the roads, tax the bandits that are freely strangling road traffic flow and smiling about it!!!
Me I will be back in rip off Fort William only because of the people, but when I go I will be travelling between 0400 and 0700, music on and a clear road!!!!!
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